


Nine Point Five Points

by orphan_account



Series: Total Bullshit [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Attempt at Humor, I'm Sorry, M/M, Tour Bus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard wants to know if his ass is fat.<br/>or<br/>Gerard asks Frank a serious question.<br/>or<br/>Gerard just likes Frank staring at his ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nine Point Five Points

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is basically only about Gerard Way's ass, nothing else.  
> Written at 4 am after an Alien marathon which has about nothing to do with it. (who the fuck even does Alien marathons)

Frank’s hidden in his bunk listening to good old Static Age. It’s the most relaxing thing he’s done in weeks. No one interrupts him, so it’s just his tired-of-people self and his music.  
He buries his head further into the pillow and closes his eyes, wishing he could just fall through that fluffy pillow to Narnia or something. That’s when the curtain of his bunk is thrown open.

Frank rolls lazily so he lays on his right hip and opens one eye while raising his eyebrow, not bothering to hide his annoyance. “What,” he says without the intonation of his voice changing its level. It takes him five and half seconds to really start to focus on Gerard who is standing there with a crestfallen expression on his face. Frank pauses Teenagers From Mars.

“I need to ask you something,” Gerard says and Frank props himself on his elbows.

“What is it?”

Gerard looks completely solemn when he asks, “Is my ass fat?”

Frank blinks and raises his eyebrow even further up. “What?”

“I asked you if I have fat ass.”

“No, you don’t, calm down.” Frank says and returns back to Teenagers From Mars. Two seconds later, Gerard tugs on his sleeve and Frank is forced to pause the song again.

“Gerard, I’m trying to have here an asocial trip into my private rainbow-flooded dreamland. What do you want?”

“I already told you.”

“And I answered.”

“But not sincerely. You didn’t even think about it.”

“How do you know I don’t think about your ass?”

“Fuck off, I hoped for an honest answer. And not your pervy remarks.”

”You’re like a teenage girl trying to get compliments to lift her spirits.”

“Okay. I thought we were friends, Frank,” Gerard says with a pretended pained expression and Frank feels already bad though he knows it’s feigned.

“Fine, fine. But I really don’t think your ass is fat.”

“I don’t care what you  _think_ , I wanna know if my ass is or isn’t fat.”

“Okay, Gee, whatever you ask,” Frank crawls out of his bunk leaving his iPod on the pillow. “Turn around.”

“What? Sounds kinda weird, Frankie.”

“Shut up. You wanted a professional opinion about your ass, so.”

Gerard rolls his eyes and turns around.

Frank truly feels like a perv, but who cares, because whoa, studying Gee’s ass is really an interesting thing to do. Not that Frank didn’t know before, but now he has an extremely awesome view.

“Your ass really is not fucking fat, Gee.”

“How many points for my ass from one to ten?”

“Um,” Frank thinks, shamelessly ogling Gerard’s ass, “I would say, nine and half.”

New voice suddenly joins the discussion. “Frank, why are you ogling my brother’s butt?” Mikey’s standing in the doorway, the amusement visible from the upturned corner of his mouth.

“Well, he wanted to know if he has fat ass, so…”

Mikey snorts. “Sorry to interrupt you then, but Ray, Bob and I are heading outside for a coffee. Thought you would want to go with us.”

“Sure,” Frank agrees and turns to leave with Mikey. “Let’s go.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Gerard grabs Frank's wrist and Mikey raises his eyebrows. “Not until you tell me where’s the half point.”

“What half point?” Mikey asks, confused and amused at the same time.

“He gave my ass nine and half points of ten,” Gerard explains. “I don’t know why he just couldn’t say ten.”

“That’s my own little dirty secret,” Frank winks.

“Creepy,” Mikey states.

“Tell me,” Gerard whines. “I wanna know, Frankie, why you don’t like my ass.”

“Chill, I like your ass. It’s just a half point.”

“I still wanna know.”

“Well, maybe I will tell you if you’re a good boy… but I’m not sure if your bro here wants to know.”

“I sure as hell don’t wanna know,” Mikey confirms. “I’m leaving. You two catch up later when you’re finished with this Gerard-has-a-fat-ass thing.”

“My ass isn’t fat.”

“Fuck off, Mikey, or you’ll ruin all my efforts here,” Frank says.

“Ok, chill,” Mikey lifts his arms up in surrender and goes away.

“So, tell me,” Gerard frowns at Frank again.

“It’s because of your jeans,” Frank replies casually.

Gerard confusedly looks down at his pants. “What’s wrong with my jeans?”

“They’re there,” Frank grins wickedly.

Gerard takes about 3.78 seconds to understand and then smirks and rolls his eyes. “Oh god, you’re worse than I thought.” Then he turns to leave after Mikey and as he passes Frank, he smacks his ass. “Perv,” he smirks.

Frank smirks back. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this :DD


End file.
